Speaking Truth

Sometimes, the most difficult thing is to speak your truth - and to do it in love & with respect.

I have found, throughout the years, that speaking my truth is very empowering.  And the opposite also holds that speaking a falsehood erodes my strength.  A witch's word is sacred. 

But still, there are times when I hold back.  When I refuse to speak up in someone's defense.  When I tell those "little white lies." 

There is a body of research that tells us these small, social lies are part of the fabric of society.
The little lies we tell each other out of protection for them, protection for our self-esteem, or simply to grease the wheels are a part of our world.  But, each time we speak a lie, we tell ourselves that we are less powerful, less capable, less real.

So, what's a witch to do? 

Well, I think that active listening is one of the keys to speaking truth. 

Yesterday, I began my Throat Chakra work.  This chakra is often associated with communication...not only speaking, but listening.

Listening is difficult!  Most of the time, when we think we are listening, our minds are racing in an attempt to create our response.  We truly hear very little of what the other person says.

By listening intently, without an agenda, we can often eliminate those awkward moments where social lies seem necessary.  We can live & speak authentically while empowering others.

Here is the most important tip I've found after years of training in conflict resolution:

Ask real questions.

Doesn't that sound simple?  Ask real questions...but, what does it mean?
Basically, asking real questions requires us to put aside our own agendas, focus on the person we're interacting with & then dig deeper. 

When I've talked with others about this, they often say "but I can't come up with any questions!"  If that is the case, just pay attention a little more...there is a question that brews within every interaction...usually, we shy away from it, because it feels too intimate.

Ask the real question.

See what happens.  There may be a period of awkwardness.  But, most often, there is a sense of connection.  You and your conversation partner become aware that both are valid, real, interested.  Try this out on the people you love.  See what happens.  

Please, when doing this, though, avoid giving advice or "helping".  These are behaviors that come very naturally to most of us, but they dis-empower others - they separate us by creating hierarchy.  

Just listen. Interact.  Ask questions.

And then, speak from your heart...Your Own Truth...

It's shocking how easy & powerful speaking truth really is.

Wild & Bright Blessings,

~*Rhi*~

    )O(

Witchy meme

I found this questionaire at Walking The Hedge & thought...why not?  If you blog, please answer it & send me a link in the comments so we can learn about each other!

Please describe briefly your Path:
My brother would say "Tree hugging dirt worshiper" & he's not too off base.  I'm a really, really eclectic witch! Greenwitch. Kitchenwitch. Herbwife. Spirit-talker. Open-minded, Christopharian (working on Christopher Penczak's series).  Student of Eastern Mysticism & Hermetics.  I'm sure there's more, but that's good for the moment.

Please describe briefly how you practice it:
I use formal & informal magic.  Sometimes there are elaborate rituals planned with perfect tools & supplies collected & blessed, chanting, dancing, drumming... Other times, I just wing it & stir my intentions into the evening's dinners. 
When did you first commit to your Path?
Commit...interesting. I was afraid of my path until in my 40's, so I'm a relative newbie, but I know I was called as early as 9 years old & then re-called at least every 2 years since then.  (hard headed, huh?)
How is your practice different now than it was then?
Ah, at 1st I practiced from desperation.  Now, from a place of peace.  I'm still parting the veil bit by bit, so occasionally I'm startled by what I find.  At 1st, I was afraid, then exhilarated, now I'm simply flowing with what the universe brings me.  Who knows what tomorrow will bring?
Is your practice different today than how you thought it would be back then?
I thought I would always be secretive & solitary, but I'm finding so much more growth & strength in a community of witches with mentors! While I still do most of my serious work on my own, I adore the energy in our group & love learning from those who have walked the path years longer than I.
Does your Path and core belief system differ now than how it was when you first started?
My path is ever-changing, but my core beliefs remain still & solid.  I came into witchcraft upon the recognition that we are all connected - plant, animal, human, spirit, god.  This I believe more strongly each day.
What is your heritage and how does this inform your Path?
Interesting!  I have a strong Scottish heritage, but most of my draw is towards the Egyptian & Sumerian pantheons. Having said that, the symbolism that speaks to my is almost exclusively Celtic in nature & I was drawn to the triskelion long before I seriously explored witchcraft.
What are your main influences for your Path?
My intuition.  The best & 1st lesson I learned as a witch was to listen for, hear & trust myself.
Which do you do more: practice or research?
Neither. Both. 
Do you feel that one is more important than the other?
Neither. Both. I think it's important to have a basis - someone's experience - but at some point you have to get out there & get your own witchy hands dirty & find out what works for you!
What values and ethics are important on your Path and in your practice?
I want (and am supposed to say) "Harm none".  But, seriously people...even healing magick harms the bacteria causing the disease!  So, sometimes you've got to cause a little harm to heal.  So, my favorite thought in the values & ethics department is to do all works to The Highest Possible Good of All Effected. This keeps open the door to the possibility that harm may come to me or others due to my actions, but that harm may lead to a bigger, better good.
What sort of cycles do you feel your practice goes through?
Study. Study.  Work. Work.  Share.  Share.  Study.  Study.  Work.  Work......
What is one of the greatest obstacles or struggles you have had to over come?
The overwhelming desire to impress people.  I am SUCH a people pleaser!  Sometimes I'll do something just to irritate everyone so I know I'm still independent of the opinions of others.
How do you see yourself practicing in ten years?
As a crone.  As a mentor.  As an empowerer of women.
How do you incorporate your practice into your life?
Ever hear the line Every little thing she does is magic...?  Well, that's what I try.  I'll walk down the street holding hands with my husband, spinning a circle of loving light around us.  Maybe, I'll stir some herbs into dinner with a chant.  Cleaning the house is always magickal.  Work is where I stumble.  I know I'll have a much more peaceful life when I can easily incorporate magick into being a nurse in the critical care unit.
Has walking your Path changed you as a person?
No doubt! I would NOT be me without my path, I would be that saccharine, plastic version of me that has been wandering the earth for most of my life.
Do you consider yourself to be a priest/ess? How so?
I am the priestess of my little world.  I am queen of my home.  I am the light to a few souls, who I feel very responsible for.  But, in general, I'm not High Priestess material yet.  I have a mentor for that...she ROCKS!  She's mother, protector, educator, disciplinarian, friend, comedian...basically Star has her shit together as a Priestess in my book.
A witch? How so?
A witch...Yes.  Very, very much so.  Have been for a long time.  Now, I'm accountable for what I bring about.
A shaman? How so?
Hmmm...Do I commune with spirits? Yes.  Do I receive messages? Yes.  Can I heal? Yes.  Do I give my body over to the use of the spirits?  No, I'm a total control-freak & haven't gotten past the fear of totally letting go yet.
Which matters more: getting the vocabulary right or the actual practice of what we are trying to define?
Words are powerful to me, but squabbling over the right ones makes me want to scream & barf. Just do it & quit fighting over what brand of witch, who did a ceremony right...
One of the most profound things anyone ever said to you was:
I love you.
A defining moment on your Path was:
Making the move from solitary practice into a group of terrific witches, which led to having a mentor.
Have you ever taken a “leap of faith”?
My very 1st spell.  The 1st time I tried to travel.  The 1st time I attended a witchs' meeting.  But most importantly, the moment I told my husband I was a witch.
Please tell us something stupid, reckless or embarrassing you did once in your practice:
Before I really got connected & committed as a witch. I bought a poppet & used it against a woman who had been really messing with my life.  I invited others to stick the poppet with pins (because lots of people hated her).  The more we used the poppet, the more trouble we had with her.  When I finally figured out the pattern, I pulled every pin out & released the hate & harm.  She's not been a bother since (to any of us).  Back then, I knew NOTHING about magick or witchcraft...it was kind of a joke.  YIKES!
What is the most frustrating thing about your Path?
Not having the time to do major works.  I so very much love to spend a few hours communing in ritual, and rarely have the time & privacy to do so.
Have you ever been frightened?
Yikes! YES!!!  Terrified the 1st time a lovely spirit played with me.  I had NO IDEA what was going on & almost lost my mind.  I even made my husband change the locks because I was convinced someone was messing around in my home.
Can you perform ritual without a script?
Absolutely! I think I've only used a script once or twice.  I'm a spontaneous kind of girl.
Have you ever preformed spontaneous magick/spellcraft?
Hehehe!  See above.  99% spontaneous.
What are you still exploring or experimenting with?
Everything! I am a seeker & will always be exploring & experimenting.

What (or whom) are you the most committed to in your practice and on your Path?
I am drawn to the water.  Am moved by the sun.  There are deities that call to me at different times. Mostly, I am committed to becoming Me, the true me. 
Ritual tools are …
Tools, not necessary, helpful; can be a trap into egotism.
Magickal tools are …
A different story...a way to communicate with your soul.
The one thing you can’t do without is:
Quiet time.
Seeking personal power is …
a path towards healing of the soul.
Politics and you Path are …
unfortunately intertwined.  As a "tree hugging dirt worshiper" I have a political responsibility, but would much rather just go off into the woods & let everyone else tear each other to pieces without me.
One thing you wish people would understand about your Path and/or practice is:

that it's not a competition.  I can get pulled into competition easily because I'm a people pleaser. Once I find myself there, I know I'm off my path & onto theirs.  Just please let me practice in peace.
Do you teach?
My calling in life is to teach. It is what I do with almost everything.  I haven't taught witchcraft yet, but have a herbal class coming up in a few weeks.  (excited...nervous...!)
What do you feel is the role of clergy in modern Paganism and Heathenism?
Supporting the community. Being role models.  Counseling.  Sacred rites for transition, etc.
When the Veil (or Hedge!) is thin, how does that feel to you?
Woozy. Tingly. Enveloping.
What entities do you work with most? (ancestors, gods, fae etc)
Universal Energy.  Fae - spirits of the land, the plants.  Sumerian & Egyptian gods.  The Moon.  The Sun.  Water.
What is your relationship with the Land?
I try so hard to be conscious of my impact & often feel impotent.  Then, I take off my shoes & sink into the soil, feel the water wash over my feet, the sun on my back, the air blowing my face & I know we are one.
The most important aspect of ritual is:
Being there 100%, not drifting off onto whatever chore is hanging over my head.
The main purpose of ritual is:
Connection.
What is the purpose of divination/dowsing (or whichever for of augury you use)?
Connection.What was the most difficult book you ever read? (Either difficult to understand or hard to face what it said or both)
Can't say.  If I hate a book, I put it down & get another.  Mostly, I adore them!
What book do you recommend the most to others?
Getting In Touch With Your Inner Bitch
What is you favourite podcast (if any) and favourite blog (other than your own)?
Don't really listen to podcasts.  My favorite blog is the Fat Free Vegan Kitchen.  I know I was supposed to list a witchy blog, but there are so many I love.  And, my other joy is cooking.
If you could impart only one last piece of wisdom or knowledge, or share one experience with the world at large, what would it be?
Let go of all the conditioning about who/what you SHOULD be & spend some time BEING the real you.  If you don't know who that is, then cut yourself off from the world for a while & find out.
Is there an additional question you would like to see here? What is it? (please also answer)
Who was your 1st witch role model?  Mine was Ellen Dugan.  I found her book in a woman's sex boutique & it was a very gentle introduction into a craft that had been pulling me for decades.  She's an easy read & very down-to-earth.
Please finish this meme with a picture, image or photograph of some sort:

Kitty Porn...hehehe!

Wild & Bright Blessings!

~*Rhi*~

    )O(

Unintended Consequences

Eight words the Wiccan Rede fulfill, An it harm none do what ye will...so goes this witch's ethical code. 


How, do we know whether our magic(k)al workings will harm none?  Even with the best intentions, by manipulating energy, we are causing changes. Changes have consequences - some we intend, others we may not.

Take, for example, a recent binding/banishing I performed.  Now, don't freak out on me...it wasn't some evil magic spell performed to hurt an enemy.  This spell was performed with love.  Love for those I desired to protect, love for myself, and even a focused love for those being bound/banished.

I specifically designed a spell with wording to bind 2 women from harming me and someone I love, either by their actions or their words.  The spell was prompted by some very aggressive & intrusive behavior on their part.  As I performed the spell, I focused my thoughts upon good will towards the women, thinking of their good qualities & what may have prompted their words/actions, rather than my feelings about it.  I spent a full day on this spell after 2 days of designing it - I was and am very, very serious about this working.

So far so good.  I've heard nothing from the women, which is unusual.  I put the spell out of my mind the moment it was complete and began working on protection magic(k).  I could have simply done protection workings alone, but this was serious enough to prompt direct action. 


That was 12 days ago. 

Today, I received a call from my friend, the 1st woman's wife.  Their lives have been engulfed in family drama for 10 days solid.  Neither woman has been on the receiving end of any harm or misfortune, but they are fully wrapped up in the dramas of those around them.  Of course, being involved in these dramatic events is a great distraction from the temptation to meddle in my life. The 2 women have evidently forgotten me.

Am I upset about this?  Actually, no.  I was very serious about keeping this woman & her friend from hurting me or my loved one.  They posed a great threat.  I am happy one is too busy to think of me.  I am happy she is too busy to get together with her other friend & plot. 

But...there is a bit of guilt.

Did my workings cause the events? - No.  Not possible.  These events had begun long before I performed my spell.  But, did my working cause my friend & her meddling wife to become entrenched in the dramas?  Possibly.  They are not overly dramatic women, and would normally stand on the periphery.

Will I undo the binding/banishing?  Uhm.....NO!!! I stand firm that my magic(k) was done with the intent of protection & in reaction to an open, malicious attack.  I reserve the right to be a witch 100% of the time, not only when someone wants to be helped or healed.  One who has the power to heal also has the power to curse.  No black & white for me, it's all gray.  Sometimes our workings have unintended consequences.

So, once again, I am thinking of how my behavior, words, thoughts, energy effects others.  One of the wonderful things about being a witch is that we think of these things.  Everyone's actions effect the lives of others; witches are simply more conscious of the possibility to harm & receive the energy back.  With that consciousness comes more deliberate action.  Even when we think it out carefully & guard our intents, sometimes things go in ways we didn't expect.

Such is life.  Such is the dilemma of a witch.  Always, though, I set out To Harm None; even when I'm pissed, I understand the rules & believe them.  But, know...this witch will protect herself and those she loves.
 
Enough rambling...work safely my witchy friends!

Wild & Bright Blessings,

~*Rhi*~

    )O(