Sunday, April 10, 2011

Speaking Truth

Sometimes, the most difficult thing is to speak your truth - and to do it in love & with respect.

I have found, throughout the years, that speaking my truth is very empowering.  And the opposite also holds that speaking a falsehood erodes my strength.  A witch's word is sacred. 

But still, there are times when I hold back.  When I refuse to speak up in someone's defense.  When I tell those "little white lies." 

There is a body of research that tells us these small, social lies are part of the fabric of society.
The little lies we tell each other out of protection for them, protection for our self-esteem, or simply to grease the wheels are a part of our world.  But, each time we speak a lie, we tell ourselves that we are less powerful, less capable, less real.

So, what's a witch to do? 

Well, I think that active listening is one of the keys to speaking truth. 

Yesterday, I began my Throat Chakra work.  This chakra is often associated with communication...not only speaking, but listening.

Listening is difficult!  Most of the time, when we think we are listening, our minds are racing in an attempt to create our response.  We truly hear very little of what the other person says.

By listening intently, without an agenda, we can often eliminate those awkward moments where social lies seem necessary.  We can live & speak authentically while empowering others.

Here is the most important tip I've found after years of training in conflict resolution:

Ask real questions.
Doesn't that sound simple?  Ask real questions...but, what does it mean?
Basically, asking real questions requires us to put aside our own agendas, focus on the person we're interacting with & then dig deeper. 

When I've talked with others about this, they often say "but I can't come up with any questions!"  If that is the case, just pay attention a little more...there is a question that brews within every interaction...usually, we shy away from it, because it feels too intimate.

Ask the real question.

See what happens.  There may be a period of awkwardness.  But, most often, there is a sense of connection.  You and your conversation partner become aware that both are valid, real, interested.  Try this out on the people you love.  See what happens.  

Please, when doing this, though, avoid giving advice or "helping".  These are behaviors that come very naturally to most of us, but they dis-empower others - they separate us by creating hierarchy.  

Just listen. Interact.  Ask questions.

And then, speak from your heart...Your Own Truth...

It's shocking how easy & powerful speaking truth really is.

Wild & Bright Blessings,


1 comment:

  1. That is a very good point,and I am often guilty of saying the 'acceptable thing' in order to just get on with things. I hadn't really thought of what that might be doing to me. Very thought provoking. I'm going to have to spend some time on this.