Thursday, November 18, 2010

Rules of a Kitchen Witch

Actually, these should probably be Tips & Rules of a Vegan Kitchen Witch Who Studies Buddhism & Views Her Home as a Sanctuary, but that title seemed a bit silly & pretentious.  Basically, these are just some thoughts rattling around in this witch's noggin as she cleans & cooks on a typical day.  Just to keep it light, there's a great Saturday Night Live video at the end.  A kitchen witch can't afford to be too serious after all.

  • Only love may enter - this one has sub-rules
    • Be very selective about who you allow into your home!  It is yours & you have the right to choose the energy that comes in. 
    • Ground & center prior to entering your house after being in the outside world
    • Never prepare food when you're angry or upset, it ruins the magic(k) & even the taste
    • Make sure everyone knows to check judgments & prejudices at the front door
    • We believe that everyone has the right to believe in what they believe
    • Curiosity & love can overcome hate & anger
  • She who cooks does not clean - this is about the dishes.  We violate this one all the time, but it's been a house rule for years, so I'm posting it.
  • Pick up your own stuff - we do not employ a housekeeper
  • Cleanse the space once a week - harmful energy can build up & needs to be sent away.  I open the house & smudge weekly & have found this to be an amazing practice for keeping my husband & I in harmony with each other.
  • Honor the home spirit - give offerings to the spirit of your home regularly, make peace & see what happens. 
  • Create something, anything- this really gets your witchy courage going!  Create a recipe, create a candle, sew a pillow, paint, anything from your own hands & imagination.
  • If you don't like it get rid of it - this definitely applies to those crazy & useless gifts given to you by family & friends at the holidays, but also applies to that incredibly expensive gadget you bought thinking it would make your life better...if it sucks, it gets tossed! (our stuff goes to Goodwill) 
  • If it tastes bad, LOL & order out! - every witch has created a dish that tastes a bit like dog poo.  Never fear...that's what take-out was created for. Giggle, celebrate your ability to take a risk & pick up the phone.
  • Acquire, care for & cherish the Kitchen Witch's tools - find that perfect wooden spoon, the vacuum that glides in your hands, the scrub brush that fits right into the little spaces, even a kitchen cauldron (pot) & then care for them, love them, treat them as you would your athame or other ritual tools.
  • Meditate in your space - pick a room & meditate regularly in it, see what people begin to say about that move to another room...change the energy throughout your space
  • Create an altar (or 2 or 3!) - your altar need not be formal & witchy, maybe it's just a celebration of the current season, a gathering of icons of the Elements or symbols, maybe a god or goddess, maybe even a cooking ancestor like Julia Childs (watch the video below!!), who creative!
  • Be green & clean with magic(k) - use traditional & green ingredients in your cleaning products
  • Embrace natural scent - whether it's incense, candles, herbal sprays or essential oils, bring natural scents into your home to harmonize the energy
  • Grow something, anything - even apartment dwellers can grow a small houseplant, bring the energy of plant spirits into your world.
  • Harm None (Nothing with a face or a mother is cooked here) - this one is hard for my visitors.  While I love them & have no problem with another's choice, I feel really strongly about keeping our space free from the energy of tortured & murdered sentient beings.  I do, however, allow a meat entree when the whole family gathers so there is no animosity (it is not cooked in my kitchen, however).
  • Be flexible!  The more rules we create, the more rule-breakers we create.  Learn to be flexible within your own guidelines without giving in to the pressure of others.  Know when to say "No." when to say "Yes." & when to say "Lets discuss this one."
  • Sing & Dance! Especially when you're cooking & cleaning.  Singing & dancing brings the sacred into your work.  Sing! Dance! Flit around the house like you're 10 years old.
  • Nurture humor! - here, just watch this & giggle.

The French Chef
Uploaded by y10566. - Sitcom, sketch, and standup comedy videos.

Here's a poem I found on the internet, I'm currently reciting this prior to cooking & cleaning sessions to help set the tone.  (I don't know who authored it, if you do please let me know!)
The Kitchen Witch’s Creed
In this pot I stir the sun,
an’ follow the rule of harming none.
Banishment of bane when goin’ windershins;
an’ with water and salt negativity is cleansed.
Household duties are more than chores,
Magick abounds when mopping the floors.
With this broom, I do sweep,
To clean my house and safety keep.
Marigold, Basil, Thyme, and Yarrow,
My spell is cast for a better tomorrow.
Lemons for joy and apples for health,
The pow’r within brings great wealth.
And in this kitchen I do pray,
To truly walk the Witch’s Way.

Wild & Bright Blessings!



    1. Excellent post! I think I might print it out and put it on my refrigerator.


    2. So glad you enjoyed it!!! I am honored. :-D